COLT Celebrates 40 Years of Porn
By Sister Dana Van Iquity
Published: March 1, 2007
Carlo Massi is the tasty treat at COLT’s 40th anniversary party at the Green Room on Feb. 23. Photo by Rink
Forty years is a long time for any industry to run, but especially in the adult film industry – it’s a lot! So Colt Studio Group just had to throw a big party, “COLT 40,” in the Green Room of Herbst on Feb. 23. The entire War Memorial Building was lit outside in red lights (red and white were the evening’s colors), long red pillars of fabric and huge banners spelled out “C-O-L-T 4-0” – and everything was highlighted by two sky-sweeping spotlights. It must have been a neo-conservative’s nightmare! But it was surely a perv’s delight! Inside, projected on the walls were constantly changing images of sexy covers – DVD boxes, books, and calendars – chronicling the porn giant’s four decades of existence. Attendees could stick their heads through a hole in a life-size panel photograph of a big muscle dude, thereby getting friends to take pictures of them as would-be porn stars. Sister Dana didn’t dare. I mean, c’mon now. The gorgeous bartenders and cater-waiters were all stripped to the waist, wearing nothing but shoes, trademark tight COLT briefs, and bowties. Yummers! Men mingled and cocktailed to piano tunes of Broadway, Hollywood, and Cole Porter. So tasteful.
Two hot hunks carried to the stage Honorary COLT Man of the Evening, comic Alec Mapa of Desperate Housewives fame. “I’m the newest COLT model,” he joked. “The magazine is taking a different direction: it’s gonna be all Asian kiddie porn!” He said he was there that night to detract from the Chinese New Year celebrations. “It’s the Year of the Pig Bottom,” he jested. “Gung hay fat cock, everybody!” He said he was proud to say San Francisco’s Gay Pride Parade “is actually 72 hours long.” He elaborated, “Seventy of those hours are the Dykes on Bikes.
Omigod, did Oprah have a special bull dyke giveaway of Kawasaki motorcycles?” He claimed to have been fulfilling his duties as “America’s Gaysian Sweetheart.” He corrected, “It’s not George Takei; it’s me,” and added, “Listen Sulu, if you wanted to be Queen of the ChingChong, you shoulda come out 35 years ago! It’s not like it woulda ruined your career.” When the crowd overreacted, he retorted, “Hey, she can take it.
She’s family now.” He pointed out that when the doors opened and closed on the spaceship, “it sounded like a bunch of queens farting.” He noted that even the weapons were gay. “They weren’t going to kill you; just stun you. As in ‘You’re stunning!’” He confided that working with Eva Longoria on Housewives was fabulous, in that she really appreciated a dirty joke. “She’s the biggest fag hag in Hollywood, and has about seven queens taking care of everything from fingernails to eyelashes to lips. “She has more queens working on her than George Michael in a public toilet.” He said he had just returned from a Human Rights Campaign fundraiser in Philadelphia, “using my powers for good,” honoring the NBA basketball player, John Amaechi, who just came out. “He’s delicious. Black. English. Six feet, ten inches tall. I’m five, five, so it would be like a Great Dane trying to mount a Chihuahua.” He said, “If he was standing, I’d look just like a pinwheel – especially if he started spinning me around.” On the other hand there was basketball’s former NBA all-star Tim Hardaway with his outrageously homophobic comments. “I thought he must have been a faggot, because if that kind of guy acts like that much of a dick, it’s usually because he’s craving one,” he said. “And then there’s the homophobic Rev. Ted Haggard who had a three-year relationship with a male hustler who dealt crystal meth. “God must be gay, because only a vicious queen could come up with that scenario,” said Mapa. He then spoke about anal sex as “the perfect Christmas gift. It’s fun to give. It’s fun to get. And even if it doesn’t fit, it’s the thought that counts.” He added, “If the good Lord didn’t intend for gay men to take it up the butt, he wouldn’t have given us a prostate. Also known as the gay man’s clitoris.”
Co-host Tom Settle brought up his partner, John Rutherford, a man of very few words. “For the last four years, we have brought this company to where it is today,” said Settle. He said COLT originator, Jim French, wanted to retire; but he wanted to leave the company in good, loving hands, so he chose the Rutherford/Settle partnership to carry on the legacy. He thanked all the volunteers who made the evening so special for COLT fans. Hugging his partner John, he goaded him into a speech. It was short but sweet, thanking everyone for coming. That was all.
Assemblyman Mark Leno said, “We are celebrating 40 years of male beauty, eroticism, and sexuality.” He confided, “As a self-defined Stonewall baby who came out in 1969, you can be sure that COLT was a significant part of my psycho-sexual development. For all these years you have been a celebration of all that is beautiful about being a gay man.” He presented a proclamation, noting that COLT has contributed many, many tax dollars to the City’s economy. He said it is not uncommon to hear his colleagues in Sacramento wanting to put a special, added tax on adult entertainment. “I myself wouldn’t mind putting a very small tax on ALL entertainment and put that money for arts education, because our kids could use that. But to single out ADULT entertainment is where we draw the line, because it’s a First Amendment right, and we will fight for that right every day of the year!” He gave a Jewish blessing translating to: “You should live 120 years, like Moses did.” Mayor Gavin Newsom could not attend, but he did proclaim: “Whereas COLT Studio has produced movies that have entertained the gay community over the past 40 years; whereas COLT has brought hundreds of millions of dollars to the City and County of San Francisco and contributed to the City’s robust economy; and whereas COLT has created many jobs within San Francisco’s boundaries, stimulating the job market in general, be it therefore resolved that the Mayor congratulates COLT on their 40th anniversary and hereby proclaims Feb. 23rd, 2007 as COLT Studio Day in San Francisco.” City Treasurer Jose Cisneros joked, “I don’t recognize anyone here with clothes on,” and reiterated the important effect COLT has had on the City’s economy.
“Are we ready for the cake?” asked Settle, and had several sexy studs wheel out a giant red and white “cake,” out of which popped the cover man of the beautiful COLT 40 coffee table photo book, the marvelously muscled Carlo Masi. We all sang “The Happy Birthday Song” to COLT Studio and semi-naked Masi flexed, posed, and showed off his big guns to the tune of “I Love Muscles.” The evening ended with the expert spinning of Chi Chi LaRue with everything from the Village People’s “San Francisco” to “I Wanna Be a Cowboy” by Boys Don’t Cry.
Story courtesy SFBayTimes.com.
If you're a big fan of Bravo's WORKOUT. You will clearly see COLT Man Gage Weston on the show and the previews in his black COLT Tank (now 20% off while offer lasts) with the red COLT logo. Gage trains with Jesse on the show, he takes his shirt off while training, its sexy and I believe they said he is in episode 207, which is episode 7, I believe. Once we get more information we'll post it here and on the JohnRutherfordblog.com site.
* Thanks to our friends at Ohlalablog.com.
* COLT Man Gage Weston modeling our new line of COLT Basics Jockstraps available HERE!
* For all COLT Man Gage Weston COLT Studio products CLICK HERE or on VOD HERE!
